Victoria, Dec 2014. Highlights, Lowlights, Insights, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been doing a little bit of travelling, as this time of year calls for. I trust you all had full glasses and tummies over the past few weeks, and are all making resolutions to find your runners and locate a gym near you.

So I thought before I get into the panic that will be my appalling currency conversion estimates and backpack dilemma (this is a real thing), here are some highlights from the last few weeks.

Domestic travel, practise journey #1.
SYD – MEL – Meredith Music Festival.

My flight to Melbourne was at 10.20am. We sat on the runway for 20 minutes. This totally ruined the “this time in an hour we’ll be about to land” routine I have down pat, but it wasn’t the biggest problem of the day.

Mid-flight, the turbulence got so bad that the flight attendants said they had to stop serving drinks. I had one hand on my armrest and one on the seat in front, and with every bump I was cursing myself for getting on this stupid excuse for transport.

So, the guy next to me started laughing and then just said to me “Nahhhh bro (?) don’t worry, it’s like a roller coaster. It’s fun.”

Fun?

F off.

Anyway to my genuine surprise, we landed. I ran into the airport more excited than ever. Slightly troubling for the amount of sedation I’d had.

Sometimes you should judge a book by its cover.

Before I get to the whole story, I hired a campervan for this particular weekend, which upon serious deliberation was baptised “Vanereal Disease.”

It was from Jucy Campers (first red flag), and it was grossssssss. The mattress had been stapled together (and was splitting apart), they left a mouldy tea towel in the van, and there were stains everywhere… That I didn’t care to identify.

Here’s a blurry picture of the mattress, which accurately represented how I saw the world after a night’s sleep in this hell wagon. To their credit, they refunded part of the cost, but I don’t know how I go about chasing them up for pain and suffering.

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So don’t say I didn’t warn you, adventurers.

Meredith. The dusty jewel in the festival crown.

If you haven’t been there, it’s hard to explain what makes the Meredith festivals so dang good. And there’s no way I’ll be able to do it justice. Just know that it’s a great place and is run by very good people.

With my pals Ash and James and Ash’s bro + pals, we set off. First stop? A Werribee Servo, where thankfully, they have a wall dedicated to the quotes of great orators. Complemented by a stunning bug zapper. Straya mates.

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Coincidentally, they did an amazing bacon and egg roll. Seriously.

So we set off to the Golden Plains Shire to our beloved Meredith. Ash and I took a wrong turn (or didn’t make the turn) and ended up heading towards the Great Ocean Road or something, which I actually wouldn’t have minded – but doesn’t help when you’re in a convoy. We blame each other for the missed exit. I actually really blame the van for everything.

But we got there, and it was glorious. Well we queued for a little while, but that’s part of the fun.

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8am. Aka the view from Tinny Time.

Too much to say.

It was a great weekend. To make the whole review palatable, I’ve broken it into highlights and lowlights.

Lowlights:

  • It was so dusty… that after one morning, I could remove my thongs and a dirt outline of them remained. But it was kind of cool, let’s be honest. Also, we were sneezing dirt for days after. But I’m okay with that too. Souvenirs?
  • Some chick brought a full length mirror. My camp witnessed her dragging it out of her car and into her tent. I mean to each their own but really. REALLY.
  • Shower tokens. They only last 3 minutes. But that’s okay, it’s a lesson in what you can achieve in that time. And it’s a surprising amount.
  • Dickheads. I personally witnessed a group of dickheads doing beer bongs. The beer bongs weren’t the problem. The problem was they were singing Drake while their mates drank. So everyone was subject to rounds of  “Started from the bottom now we’re here” while their pals downed VB through a traffic cone.

Highlights:

  • The music, obviously. War on Drugs, Mark Lanegan, The Harpoons, Augie March, Ghostface Killah and De La Soul crushed it… along with the City of Ballarat Brass Band, of course.
  • (It’s) The vibe. Cheesy as it may sound, Aunty Meredith and her townsfolk make you feel very welcome. And it’s always nice knowing you’re buying a bacon and egg roll or a snag off the Meredith Cricket Club or equally lovely local organisation.
  • The food. Man, people don’t think about a festival being DELICIOUS but seriously, from the veggie burgers to the Beatbox burgers, it’s a winner.
  • The company. I was with awesome people, and quickly saw other pals which was nice. But most importantly, Ash and James got engaged! LITTLE CUTIES. Also we met some guy who had half a beard, which was interesting. He said it was a compromise between him and his wife. Shrug.
  • Meredith. From the music to the sunsets to the people to the housekeeping to the BYO alcohol, you are the best.

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Aaaand that about does it. Back to Europe freakouts next blog.

PS – When I was in Melbourne CBD waiting to go back home I saw the lamest coffee sign ever.
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… Warning…

PPS – I drove back, and I got to pat this cool dog on the way.

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3 thoughts on “Victoria, Dec 2014. Highlights, Lowlights, Insights, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

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